Monday, July 14, 2008

Miss Universe: Clapping doesn't help when regular people fall

Somewhere, a charm school teacher is cringing at the sight of Miss USA falling flat on her face at the Miss Universe Pageant Sunday.

Consequently, Miss USA — in all her beauty and um, gracefulness — didn't get to take home the intergalactic pageant crown.

Apparently this is the second time in a row that an American beauty queen has bit the dust on the Miss Universe circuit. Just another indicator that we are slipping by the wayside in world — not only as an economic power, but on the beauty pageant front, too. Depressing. But unlike last year, when Rachel Smith fell center stage and got right back up as if nothing happened, this year's Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, fell, got up and clapped.

Not sure what to make of the clapping. Maybe she clapped to show that she wouldn't let a fall get her spirits down. Of course, in the real world, clapping doesn't necessarily work well when one takes a spill. In my former accident-prone childhood, I tripped and fell on occasion — running home from school, running during P.E. classes and running in general. I would slip on bleachers — the death-trap kind you can easily fall through or at least twist your ankle on. I wasn't even safe around escalators. I can't imagine getting up and clapping afterwards. That would just draw more attention.

Of course, the times that I fell, I wasn't wearing high heels and a long evening gown — things that Miss America is suppose to specialize in. That's why she's Miss USA, right? "She's beauty and she's grace. She's Miss United States." OK, so I'm quoting from "Miss Congeniality." Yes, accidents do happen, but to normal people who are not Miss USA. To see a fall two years in a row . . . I thought they train for beauty contests like athletes do for the Olympics. If they don't, they should so they can get that walking gracefully bit down pat. — January Holmes

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