HERE'S MY SUNDAY COLUMN: "How will they kill Charlie?"
"Two and a Half Men" hasn't been close to hilarious in years but you could still count on each new episode for a few mindless chuckles.
At least during the Charlie Sheen era.
Thanks to his torpedoes of terrifying lunacy, though, he has been replaced by Ashton Kutcher, who, alas, only makes me laugh when I see him with Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.
Hanging with your much older wife and her super cool ex who's old enough to be your dad?
Anyway, I will watch the season premiere episode Sept. 19.
Just to see how the writers come up with a remotely believable explanation for Charlie's absence.
As if with any good lie, they'd be best served by sticking as close to the truth as possible:
Locked up in an insane asylum.